The Unskilled Sommelier

This bottle was a total win. The price was under 3 bucks and the buzz was over three hours long. The flavor was very fruity and clung to your tongue with every swallow. I didn't pair this with anything but Law & Order SVU and Facebook, but it didn't need a companion to rock my socks off.

See what I mean? Cafe World is so much cooler when you can't quite make the screen focus.

Oak Leaf is a very small label, exclusively distributed and sold at WalMart locations. There are four types of wine under this label - one for each season. To me, that is complete bull. Beer makes sense to me. When it's cold, you want something fuller and heartier to warm you to your toes. In the summer, something thinner and lighter on the tongue is just the refreshing beverage needed to cool you down. But wine? I have never tasted a wine that doesn't take over your palette the minute you drink it. I don't know yet WHY that happens, but we all know it does. So Oak Leaf, I doubt there is one wine that is more refreshing than another. I reject your seasonal marketing campaign! (But I do NOT reject your wine. That can be shipped to me once a week in a Walmart plastic bag, please and thank you.)

I realize as I write this that some will not find the drunkability of a wine to be a critique-able category. Well, I reject that too. So there.

This is fun. If I disagree with an argument, I just reject it. I should start employing this strategy at the bank. "You want me to retake that training? As much as I'd like to, I'm going to have to reject that request. Anything else?" Hmm-nope. I think the blanket reject button can only be used on my blog. Heidi needs money to fund her wine hobby.

I'm not usually sadistic.

Today/night was so out-of-this-world crumby that I actually ended up finding it funny. Work was, well, work. I joined the parental units for Chinese and then Dad and I went to Wally World for some retail therapy. It really bothers me that Walmart is changing when so much else in my world is changing too. What is this world coming to when your basic small-business-crippling behemoth puts the cat litter where the baby diapers should be? It just isn't right.

So, I come home in the rain and try to get all my goodies inside in one trip. I make it up the stairs but drop the 24 pack of Liquid Cocaine...I mean Diet Coke...on my foot when I try to open the door. Somehow in the scuffle with my entryway I ended up soccer-ball kicking my chip dip off the porch, down my stairs, off the sidewalk, and into a puddle.

I left it there.

I then opened the fridge to toss the pop in the bottom and freaked out b/c there was black goopy crap all over the bottom. I don't know about you, but there is nothing ickier than goop in your fridge. Chilled spoodge is still spoodge, ya know? It turns out I had some mushrooms hiding that were so far gone that they liquified and worked their way THROUGH THE PLASTIC and down the back wall of my fridge. I almost lost my cookies.

When I went for a rag I knocked the drip tray from my Foreman over and got the EVEN MORE disgusting fat all over my counter and the front of my cabinet. I cleaned up the ick (in both places), and when I threw the paper towel away I remembered to feed the fish. When I went to do that, I found that one of my fishies didn't make it through the night. I really think my apartment disgusted him so much that he opted for the fast track to Guppy Heaven and held his breath. So I had to deal with all that.

That was entirely too much ick to have in my house over night, so I took the trash outside....and realized THEN that my lid blew off in the Tsunami today and my huge trash can was half full of water. At that point, I just decided to forget it all. My dry groceries are still on the counter, and all the other chores I told myself I would do all day long are still waiting to be done, as of yet undid.

It is a work night, so I couldn't dapple in my wine pastime tonight. The alternative healing device I employed when wining myself into oblivion proved not to be an option? Dark Chocolate Mouse and Coke Zero.

Life is good.